Selfish
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It was a hurried, messy meeting. Over a month had passed and while neither of them particularly liked the risk involved, what was meant to be a quick report had rapidly turned into a fully blown make out session. Mattie, tall, dark and still clad in his three-day-worn military colours had made short work of shoving all of Marquis’ neatly stacked paperwork onto the floor, pressing the smaller man down onto the varnished wood instead. Marquis would have protested were he not so occupied by the tongue down his throat and Mattie’s heavy hands tugging at his hair. He’d worked hard to catch up his king’s deskwork while banned from military campaigns and now he’d have to sort it all again but it was so hard to be angry when the other man acted like this, like he’d honestly missed him and for just now wanted to focus on the here, now and not what kept them apart. Mattie wasn’t the talking type when it came to stuff like emotions and relationships and all the girly crap so Marquis let it slide, just enjoying the few moments like this they stole.

Of course the moments always turned into minutes before threatening hours, and it took all of Marquis’ resolve to push Mattie away from taking it up a level.

“Not now, mate.” He managed to pant out between heated, sloppy kisses, holding the king’s hand away from his shirt. The brunet only growled under his breath, moving his attentions to Marquis’ neck instead. The smaller man crooned, honey-coloured eyes dropping to half mast in appreciation before he firmly planted his hands on Mattie’s shoulders and shoved. It caught them both by surprise and Mattie stumbled back a step, raised eyebrows the only indication of his surprise while Marquis remained perched on the desk, sucking in deep breaths.

“What was that for?” His highness’ voice was a very tones lower than normal as he glared at his second-in-command.

“What was that for? That was ‘cause we can’t do that shit now, mate!” Snappy now, not any happier about the situation, Marquis yanked his blond hair free of its ponytail before quickly redoing it and straightening his jacket. He was smaller than Mattie by a fair margin, shorter than most men and quite a few women, yet for his size he was known to get quite stubborn about things. Like now. “’cause we’re fucking meant to be back at the ball and you’re meant to be catching up with your fucking pregnant wife, that’s what it was for! I’ve babysat her for you the last bloomin’ month, mate, and you’re back here copping a feel?”

“You weren’t complaining.” To anyone else that look would have meant death but for Marquis, it was as good as a self-satisfied smirk. Mattie was hard to read, his eyebrows almost always pulled into a frown and his mouth set in a constant scowl. Marquis knew.

“Call it surprise.” The blond replied sarcastically, scratching his nose and brushing a finger against his now swollen lips, wondering how in hell he was going to hide them. “But seriously, mate, we should – “

A sharp rap on the door cut him off and they both stared at the wooden blockade for just a moment. Then like lightning they were off, straightening clothing and smoothing hair and by the time the messenger boy poked his head inside, Mattie was lounging in the chair behind his desk while Marquis was kneeling on the floor, shifting through the fallen papers. What did you think he was doing, you perverts?

”Aah…I don’t mean to interrupt but the Queen – “

“Tell her I’ll be there shortly.” Was all Mattie had to say to send the poor boy running, and Marquis peeked over the desk to send him a frown.

“Totally uncalled for, mate.”

He didn’t reply, simply hauling himself to his feet and brushing Marquis’ head with his fingertips as he walked to the door. Marquis didn’t stop him, going back to his sorting before Mattie broke the silence just as he was closing the door. “Your room, tonight.”

As it clicked shut, one could hear a muffled “What part of pregnant wife are you not understanding?” through the heavy door. Mattie just smirked.

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When the night was done and they lay in a tangled heap of sheets and body-parts, Matie once again let his fingers push through Marquis’ hair. Like his locks, the blond was sprawled across the bed, drooling a little, the picture of content and Mattie had to wonder why. He knew he wasn’t a considerate lay – lover was too strong a word for him to even think about – and he was sure every time Marquis grinned and said keep going, it’s okay, that the blond was lying. He limped in the mornings yet he never said no, and it pissed Mattie off.

He froze up when asked or confronted about feelings, and thinking about them now was hard enough. Yet it was unavoidable for him to ignore the nagging guilt that always crept in on nights like this, especially when Marquis rolled closer, cold. He was always cold. That was Mattie’s fault too and he’d never let himself forget it. Just knowing him put the blond in danger and instead of doing the right thing Mattie simply wrapped his arms around the smaller man and tugged him closer. It was selfish, but that was just the way he was.